Thursday, October 29, 2009

Ramble On

Almost as soon as I spewed out that last post, my energy picked up and my outlook brightened. Perhaps I had turned a corner with my cold/flu thing, perhaps I experienced an out-gassing of hormones or perhaps the very act of writing was a sort of sloughing off the bad juju.

Anyway, I feel good. But that post remains for anyone to see and assume I’m in tatters. I guess if I want to honestly document this process I can’t delete it. Just more proof of how sideswiped we are by changes to our delicate physiology and that we need to feel a sense of purpose in life if we’re going to make it through.

Working on getting strong again for this next surgery. Going off the tamoxifen for a few weeks to prevent blood clots. My excorcism hysterectomy is November 12th and the doctors want to make sure I’m good to go.

You know what’s weird? When you stop getting your period. I suppose if you’ve been pregnant this does not seem weird but on some visceral level I keep waiting for it to come. There is a twinge I guess. Sort of like losing my 34Ds. They were kind of a nuisance, but they were my nuisance, you know? I wonder what I would have said a year ago if someone had said, hey, you can stop having a period, make your breasts smaller and firmer, lose weight, get free narcotics and all you have to do is look into the abyss.

Bet I would have said, hells yeah, sign me up!


Ken Harrison said...

Something tells me you would have told them to get the Hell away.

C.M. Harris said...

Okay, maybe so.