Thursday, September 10, 2009

Estrogen! The Musical

So, I’ve been on the Tamoxifen for a few weeks now and am starting to see the effects. Headaches aren’t that bad but I am a little weepy. It’s as if a yearning John Barry soundtrack is playing in the background. Anything will set me off. Oliver caught a cicada today and tortured it. Waaaaaa! Kids pick up that playdough, or I'll, I'll, waaaaa!

Also, my fibroid is beginning to radiate a constant pain now. A child’s elbow, a dog’s paw—it feels like a punch in the gut every time I get poked in the abdomen. My oncologist told me today that my fibroid is only a centimeter smaller than my uterus and sitting on top of it, so I should probably consider surgery. The Zoladex shot I got today might lessen that but I wont see any results for a while.

I thought the Zoladex shot was going to be a quick shot in the butt or arm. But it is more like the core biopsies in that they lay you back, numb you up with Lidocane before they use the “big ass needle,” as my nurse called it. The difference is it goes in the belly instead of the boob. Ouch. Once a month. Sigh. At least it’s not chemo, right?

Anyway, I walked out of the cancer center, tears streaming down my face, looking like I just got a fatal diagnosis. What an idiot. Suppose it’s kind of good to cry sometimes; it flushes the system. Plus I’m not just crying over sad things, but good things too. (The hibiscus blossomed again, waaaaa!) It’s weird. I never cried a ton before. It’s like the lady parts are going out with as much drama as possible.

According to the onco, it’s really going to kick in now with the shots. Hot flashes apparently.

Maybe I can keep the family warm this winter and we'll save on energy bills.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Don't be too hard on yourself. I can tell you from personal experience menopause SUCKS (Not as bad as cancer but still). Wait until you become 200% more aggressive and want to punch the hibiscus for blooming.....

The big "M" on top of cancer? I think anyone would be boo-hooing.

Laura L.

donnab said...

And then again... the big "M" might not be a big deal for you. Everyone is different. Don't sweat it until you have to.
Donna

Ken Harrison said...

Now might be a good time to watch Sophie's Choice. It might just take all the crying out of you.

Anonymous said...

I'm not going to worry until you start cueing up Barry Manilow and watching the Pet Rescue channel. Then, I'll intervene.

Anonymous said...

If you couldn't tell, that last comment about Barry was from Jon O. I have the hardest time signing into this site.

Michele Harris said...

You guys crack me up.

Anonymous said...

I could only provide empathy and support when you were dealing with the cancer, but now that you're dealing with menopause, whether bought on chemically or naturally, I can understand. I cried this evening when David put my fish on top of my salad, in a BOWL! Wait until your spouse looks at with complete horror in her eyes and says, "it's only fish and you're scaring the cat".

Michele Harris said...

LOL, Joyce. Good to know I'm not the only one who sees that as an unforgivable infraction.